I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love having hate sex.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
