do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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