its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
