Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize