Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
