god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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