I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
