My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
