is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize