I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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