Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Panties = found
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