Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
