cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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