worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
