She announced her abortion via fbk
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the day after is always just damage control
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
