i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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