eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
