I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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