Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
