It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
