Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
