Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
