$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
