I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
