Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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