Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
