Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What a dumb baby whore.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
