Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
