the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
