btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if only i could text you this smell
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
