First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
