Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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