I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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