Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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