Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
whose parrot is this?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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