well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
