He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
