hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
one two three fourrrrnication!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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