Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

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(480): View more from Arizona

I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

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(707): View more from California

someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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(206): View more from Washington

At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"

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(815): View more from Illinois

holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!

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(314): View more from Missouri

she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW

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