Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
