whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
