i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
