if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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