dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
