$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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