Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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