i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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