it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
