GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
