Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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