Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
