He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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