There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
