I'm drive I can fine osifer
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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