i just wanna soil my oats bro
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
