i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
