well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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